Warren's Place

Dear Readers,

What follows is the eulogy that I wrote for my father, Gordon. My best friend, Greg, read it for me at my father's service on 8/20/2005.

I added a few pictures for the web version.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

--Warren


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Dear Friends and Relatives,

Thanks for attending my father’s memorial service. In accordance to his wishes, this will be a small and simple service. We who are here today are the people who he knew and loved. I want to thank my best friend, Greg, for reading this for me.

This is my eulogy for my father, Gordon T.. He was a devoted husband to my mother, Doris. He was born in China on August 7th, 1929. He passed away peacefully in his sleep on Monday, August 15th, 2005 at UCSF Medical Center Hospital. He was 76 years old.

I will tell you a little about his personality, and of some of his interests and experiences. These are things that you may have never known about him.

My father was a hard working, intelligent, literate, highly principled and proud man. Even though he was never wealthy, especially early in his life, he always appreciated the finer things in life, and he always had a sense of personal style. He was a strong, open water swimmer, and an avid bike rider. In his high school years, he and his best friend both ordered special English racing bikes with racing style, dropped handlebars. They would carry their bikes up several flights of stairs into their homes instead of leaving them on the street with the ordinary bikes. I think that it was no coincidence that I was on the swim team in high school, and after much pestering, he bought me my own English racing bike. Greg and I both had Raleigh 10 speed racers in high school.

As a young man in his twenties, he worked as an accountant. Dad loved to tell me how he was one of the first people in Hong Kong to own a divers model watch. When he learned of this new watch model, he searched all over town for one. He found only one available, and that one was used as a display model. It was submerged in a tank of water to show that it was truly waterproof. Dad talked the dealer into selling him that very watch. It was his one and only prized possession that he wore all the time. Again, it’s no surprise that I also aspired to own that same divers watch when I was in my twenties. He gave me his watch a few years ago when he felt that he no longer had occasion to wear it much. He preferred to wear a simple Casio in his later years. I am wearing it today in his honor, and it is still running as well as it did when he first bought it over 52 years ago.

This is a picture of the watch today. The watch is a Rolex Turn-O-Graph, reference number: 6202.



This is a picture of my modern version. Gail gave it to me as a surprise in the mid-1980's. This model is the Rolex Submariner Date.



A few years after he bought that watch, he married my mother, Doris. They lived the typical life of a young couple in Hong Kong, they worked hard and played hard, but they eventually started a family. In 1963, Dad and Mom decided to immigrate to San Francisco to start a new life. They felt we would have a better future here. They did it for me. We had no money and not much more that the cloths on our backs.

Through much hard work, perseverance, numerous frustrations and hardships, he eventually made a decent living, and he was able to provide our small family with many of the comforts and conveniences of modern life.

Aside from his devotion to his family, he was also active in his Chinatown Benevolent Association serving as the association’s secretary for a number of years. He had many friends who respected him for his trustworthiness and integrity. When he was not home with us, he would be at the Association playing mahjong with his friends. Dad was always proud that he was the “go to” guy whenever one of his friends needed someone to be Master of Ceremony at a wedding or other social event. Dad had a way with words, and a command of the formal Chinese that was used in speeches. Dad outlived his friends at the Association because they were all of an older generation. He eventually retired from the Chinatown social scene and preferred to stay home with Mom.

After a lifetime of work, and a few years before his retirement, Gail and I took Dad and Mom on two major vacations. One was to see the Grand Canyon, and the other was on a cruise in Florida. Afterward, he would fondly say that he was happy and satisfied that he had a chance to go on those vacations with us. The picture of him that you see today was taken on our Grand Canyon vacation. You can see that he was truly happy to be there.

Here is the picture of Dad at the Grand Canyon. There was a framed, 8x10 enlargement of this picture at Dad's memorial service.



Dad had a heart attack seven years ago. He had to have a triple coronary bypass operation. Because of the damage done to his heart from the heart attack, he had a condition called congestive heart failure. This condition caused his health to decline gradually over the last few years. His vision was failing because of cataracts, but he could not have surgery because of his poor health. Despite all these health problems, Dad maintained a positive outlook, and enjoyed doing things that interested him, even though he became more reclusive than ever.

Even though he had not seen many of you for a long time, be assured that he enjoyed hearing about you. I would keep him updated about you, and he was pleased to hear of all your accomplishments and activities.

In the last couple of years, some of my most treasured moments with my father happened when I took him for walks at his favorite place for walks, Spreckels Lake in Golden Gate Park. We had discussions about everything from current events, to the SF Giants, to his childhood stories, to my career, to news about our family and friends. It was one of the things that he and I really looked forward to. Even though we talked a lot, our bond was beyond words. I am sure that even his death will not break our bond.

Here is a picture of Dad that I took in July 2005, about 2 weeks before he passed away. We were sitting on a bench at Spreckels Lake. Even though he was physically frail, he still had that gentle smile and the sparkle in his eyes. He was happy to be there with me that day.



My heart is filled with pride when I think about my father. I am proud that he was a good man who led a decent and honest life. He was an extremely devoted husband and father. He never once raised his hand to me, or yell at me in anger, but rather used quiet words alone to instill in me a sense of right and wrong. He supported and encouraged me in my many interests and in my career choice without being pushy or overbearing. In short, he allowed me to be my own man.

I would like to thank to all the people who have helped my father in the last few years, especially my wife, Gail, his nieces Selina, Sheryl, and Angela, and our friends Erica and Ann.

In closing, I would like to leave you with these final thoughts:

I am thankful that Dad survived his heart attack to stay with us for 7 more years. I am thankful for every minute that I was able to spend with him whether it was a good time or a difficult time. In the end, I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine, and we knew that it was time to say goodbye, and we were not afraid.

Life is too short to let petty things get in the way of your relationship with someone you love. Don’t be stubborn, be the first to give in and patch up whatever differences you may have. May you all live well from this day forward.

Thank you all for being here today.

Warren