Warren's Place

Gail and I were close to her once upon a time. Then events happened that forced her to forsake us as friends. She started a new life, on her own, with a new set of friends. We don’t blame anyone for what happened, it just happened, and we accepted the new reality. We had many happy moments as friends, and towards the end of our friendship, we saw her through some difficult times. But we were left hanging because our disassociation was total and final. We didn’t realize that her most difficult moments were still to come.

Through other friends, we found out that she contracted non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma which is a cancer of the lymphatic and immune systems. She was a gamer, apparently fighting the disease and carrying on as normal a life as possible, given the circumstances.

Looking back on the last picture that I ever took of her, I realized that it was almost 5 years ago since we last saw and talked to her. At the time, we didn’t think that it would be the last time that we would ever see her again. I suppose that it’s always like this. Even though she chose not to see us anymore after that last visit, I always thought that we would somehow hook up again someday.

But it was not to be. Being an only child, my friends are very dear to me. My friends are my family. Because of this, I think our broken friendship affected me more than the others even though she had no idea. I wanted to be there for her, to comfort her, to talk to her, to do whatever was needed. She passed away peacefully on Tuesday, April 12th, just a handful of days away from her 48th birthday. It was her wish that her memorial service was by invitation only, and only her current friends and immediate family were invited to attend. I respected that wish, but we did not even have a chance to say our final goodbyes. I am left with a huge void in my psyche. So I am writing this in hopes that by doing so, I can resolve all those loose ends of our relationship that are still whipping around in my mind.

I think she inadvertently spared us the pain of seeing her succumb to her illness. She left us with only memories of the good times that we had together and the lasting image of a truly unique and memorable personality.


L.A.F.
4/18/1957 - 4/12/2005

I was driving to work this morning, and I got tired of listening to the radio, so I turned on my CD changer. The song that came on was: I Miss You. Hmm, it's kind of appropriate.

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I Miss You, by Stevie Nicks, 5/1/2001

When I think about you
I think about how much I
Miss you when you're not around
When I think about you
I think about how much I
Can't wait to hear the sound
Of your laughter
Time and distance never matter

Well I miss you now
I have so many questions
About love and about pain
About strained relationships
About fame as only he could explain it to me

Seems like yesterday
I think about how much I
Wish that you were here with me now
The invisible girl that was my name
She walks in and walks out
And I'm sorry now
I'm sorry now

Well I miss you now
I have so many questions
About love and about pain
About strained relationships
About fame as only he could explain it to me

Paris to Rome, London to Paris
Always goodbye, I nearly couldn't bear it
Her heart settles down
She's back on that staircase
On the way up to her place

Well I miss you now
I have so many questions
About love and about pain
About strained relationships
About fame as only he could explain it to me

I miss you now
I miss you now
I miss you now

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A final word to you, dear reader, if you are involved in any broken friendships, don't be stubborn, go mend them before it's too late.

--Warren